You may have… and by “may have,” I mean “better have, if you know what I mean,” heard that they recently spotted a hairy-nosed otter in Borneo. These remarkable probiscally-folliated mammalian piscivores of Asia were, until recently, believed to be extinct, but like my own childhood aspirations, have soldiered on despite daunting odds.
Now you probably know I love otters. In fact, I think they are the awesomest animal there is, and have evidence to support it. From Emmett to Tarka, I have championed the riverdog since I was a child. But now I even have a favorite otter, and that is the hairy-nosed otter of Borneo. It’s an otter! It has a hairy nose! It lives in Borneo! And it’s not extinct! My heart is full. I want to be a Jane Goodall like figure in my next life, living among the mustachioed mustelids of Malaysia, and be accepted into their ranks as an equal. You can offer me, as a test, a cat-sized elephant who spouts ginger ale from its trunk, speaks perfect Jeevesian English, and plays scrabble, and I would still pick the hairy-nosed otter of Borneo.
Either that or an ocelot.